Wine Talk with Amber

The depth of you is too deep for me to wash away. My tongue wrapped around the vermillion border of your lips. I taste your skin. My hands caress against each pore of your face. Slowly streaking sensually along the ridges of your cheekbone and down to the core of your neck. Oh, I love the warmth of you. Our eyes meet and then mine gradually lock into the presence of your soul. Eyes sunken into a world of extreme darkness. I see beyond your chestnut pupils. I want all of you. I want to hear your sweet moans. Begging for me to release the grasp I have on your vitality. Gasping for air, but I’m not quite ready to unleash my grip yet. The light of your spirit captures me every time I gaze into your existence. The calmness of your love quivers down my spine. I can’t surrender the chills that overcome me when I’m with you. I won’t.  Let me become one with you. Smother you in the golden trimming of my tongue. We can take a walk in the tropical paradise of your sunset. My fingers enjoying ...

I thought you were  gonna  be my rock? I thought we would be able to hold each other on those bad days? You know those days when my hair doesn’t lay the right way… then I go into work and get yelled at for not meeting my deadline…  And then I forget my lunch on the countertop at home & have to buy lunch when I needed that money for the cable bill due the next day. I thought you were going to be there. I thought you would be there for those days when I didn’t need you to criticize me but instead I needed you to compliment my lipstick and the shoes I decided to wear to look pretty for you. Why weren’t you there?   Baby, I know I sound a little selfish but was I ever really taught to love? I’m trying to learn from you. I wasn’t shown the correct way to love.  But is there really even a correct way? All I know is the way that I know. All you know is the way that you know. I thought you were going to be there to teach me your way. Teach me how you want to be love...

  What happened to big round noses?  And cellulite? Why does every strand of hair on my legs need to be stripped before I can lay with you? What happened to messy ponytails and microwaveable pizza? Why can’t I bask in your love without first watching countless hours of makeup and hair tutorials to look like an Instagram model? I want to indulge in the sweat under your arms, and the burnt “just because” cookies that you made for me. When did the world get so shallow?  When has it not been okay for someone to make a mistake? I crave.... I crave a friend who’s not perfect. A soulmate with a bit of soul.... I crave the attention of someone who’s not just looking for mediocrity. You know? Someone who doesn’t just take photos to show the world that we have the latest designer wear. I crave someone who can really speak to me and accept me for my flaws. I’m not looking for a social media life. I’m looking for someone who is going to find purpose in me and all that I come with. I’...

I’ll admit, I was a tough lover. Very stubborn. Possessive. But more than anything, unwilling to grow. I was stuck in the soil of my own stagnancy. My seed was ready to be planted, But I wouldn’t provide you with the hydration, I didn’t administer the sunlight. Yet, I expected to be grown into a fully blossomed flower. Well guess what? I ran to the highest body of water flow that I could find. And captured the sweetest views of summer time sunshine... To bring to you. Only to find: it was too late, you had taken my seed. You had taken  our  seed away.  The seed, Waiting for the grand opportunity to flourish. Was ripped out of the ground, Due to your reluctance to love me in my entirety.  With all my blemishes. And all my bruises. And then I realize: The seed that was snatched from me will be used to plant someone else’s garden.

There she is. Sitting outside on this calm and rainy night, reflecting on herself. Reflecting on all the things she could have done. All the things she could have seen. All the places she could have been. Sometimes she doesn’t realize her worth until it’s too late. Sometimes those dreams and aspirations are just that. Dreams. She knows she can be amazing but she doesn’t believe in herself enough to pursue. She gets frustrated because no one believes in her but how could she be upset when she doesn’t even believe in herself? Have you ever been in a room full of people, but felt so alone? Like no one was really there. That’s how she feels most of the time. She questions herself on this almost every day. Why am I not enough? Why am I not amazing enough to SHINE? Why must I fall here in the background when I know this is not where I am meant to be? As much as she would like these questions answered, she cannot. And it frustrates her. Enough to make her fearful of change, yet ...

I am angry. You know why? Because you can’t see what’s past my skin. You look at my smooth brown skin and my full lips, just to take advantage. I know I am beautiful. I know I am sexy. I know I have nice lips and a pretty smile. The things I can do with my hips would make anyone go crazy. You became one of the others. You don’t respect me. You Lust. Lust. It’s a four letter word yet so powerful. Why do all of you think of me as the physical? I am so much more than that. Sex. Sex. Sex. That’s really all you want from me? Do you care about my dreams? Don’t lie to me to make me think you are interested. Be real with me. How would you feel if I played you the same way you played me? What if I had a boyfriend that I was unhappy with and I toyed with your emotions. Just because you are convenient. How would you feel? Shitty right? Well imagine if this cycle repeatedly happened to you. With different women. Doing the same thing. Over ...

My red nails sliding down your arms so gently and soft, Your chocolate skin so smooth, Your face rubs against my bare cheek. I want to kiss your lips. They are so soft and wet. Your strong arms turn me on, I like those tattoos you have too. Others see them as a sign of weakness, but they make me. . . But back to your lips. They make me feel special. When you have them in my “special” places. I don’t want you to stop. Let’s light a match, to burn our love tonight. I like the vanilla scented candles. What scent is your favorite? Don’t you love it when I wear that fruity perfume? It only cost me a couple of dollars but, It casts the spell to get you where I want you. But hold on, Where’s the tunes? You know the sweet sounds of Dru Hill makes this greater. Something about the melody makes it easier for me to . . . I want your face down there, And your hands up here. Touching the girls. It’s something about when you tou...